The male gaze is a thing

The male gaze

As young women we learn all about the male gaze early in adolescence. Many of us oscillate between craving it and avoiding it. If you are one of the lucky ones you never come to hate or fear it due to a traumatic experience. Over the years I moved through many feelings about the male gaze, but I am happy to announce I am mostly indifferent to it especially as it applies to my fashion sense, and this is a thing now. In Italy I observed a movement among a younger generation of women who appear to be unconcerned with what their male peers find attractive. They dressed to appease their internal aesthetic or perhaps as an aversion to their mother's or father's idea of beautiful. This segment is averse to the traditional standards of beauty: push-up bras, neatly coifed hairstyles, structured dresses. Instead they opt for bag/saggy jeans with low crotches, sport bras and a generally more androgynous look. I thought this was a teenage fad but I found there were quite a few women in their thirties and beyond rocking this look.

Italian streetwear

Enter the Man Repeller blog. The creator Leandrea Medine is a style icon known for her eccentric, eclectic and (need another 'e' word here) evolved sense of style. She does not dress to attract the male gaze in the traditional sense. Instead she seeks to express herself through fashion. Her style is part Carrie from Sex and the City and part something entirely of her own making. I saw her at the airport last year in Amsterdam. I was travelling with Hunter and he is the only reason I did not go fan girl hysterical. She was wearing one of her more subdued ensembles and she was with her husband casually making their way to the next gate. I stayed close, but not too close rehearsing what I would say and how I would say it. The words never came and she boarded early as a first class passenger. I did miss my chance to speak to her about what inspires her fashion choices, but thought it was best to admire her from afar.

Leandrea style collage

At a glance her style looks haphazard, odd perhaps even unappealing. And that is where this concept transitions from weird to fascinating. These looks are all carefully curated. The first is a bit edgy due to the cropped sweater, but the second is quite odd. Notice the cuffed jeans and the stark white boots. The third is gorgeous. I have a pair of similar shoes. This is fascinating because except for the first look those are not the kind of outfits one would wear to girls night out where the objective was to attract male attention. She is not dressed to attract the male gaze, but for her own personal expression. There is a movement to dress in an original, anti-supermodel way and I love it. Some would argue this is an evolution of queer-girl style. Lesbians who have little to no regard for the male gaze have dressed this ways for years and years and years. But this trend is moving into the mainstream. It is standing out from all the other trends that come and go. Of course I have a few androgynous pieces in my wardrobe but, I have leaned away from the more creative utilitarian pieces that would make me a card carrying member of this revolution.

Me wearing a pair of low-crotch pants 

As women the male gaze is constantly upon us. As women in the western world we have immense freedom of choice to decide how we react to it. Some of us choose to embrace it, others choose to avoid it, while some choose to let it not explicitly inform their sense of style. To some the baggy pants are just ugly, but the Italian women wore them with so much confidence I eventually grew curious. I see their low crotch pants and checkmate the move with hot pink heels. Let's call it the selfie gaze. An expression of how I want to see myself.