If you don't post a pic on FB did it ever happen?

At the end of every year I set goals for myself. Milestones as well as small personal achievements populate the list. I did not create a 2013 list, and I'm not sure why. (Wait, I do. I was too busy having a good time in Vegas and New York to worry about making lists...) Instead while we were in New York over the holidays we agreed that we need to make a greater effort to travel, especially during the low season when tickets and hotels are cheapest.

The trip to New York was eventful and upon my return to Vicenza I was easily engrossed with work. A week before Martin Luther King Jr. day Ryan asked what happened to our grand plan to take advantage of the long weekends. I did some research and found a pair of cheap tickets to Barcelona. With the tickets out of the way I went apartment hunting. This site is my favorite. It is easy to navigate and the owners are responsive. Within 24 hours I found a terrific two bedroom apartment in the Born district of Barcelona. It's a trendy neighborhood with an obvious bohemian bent. Lots of narrow streets lined with tatoo parlors, bakeries and art galleries. Surprising little squares populated with seesaws and running children.

The apartment was exactly as it was advertised. A perfect, modern hide way with all the amenities we needed. A spacious fridge, large bathroom with a heated towel rack, Wifi and a huge bed. There was the issue of the fifth floor walk up, but it was quiet and peaceful up there. We even had a second bedroom, but the apartment wasn't quite big enough for us and another person.

We immediately spotted Mosquito on our first venture around the neighborhood. I love Asian food but, most of the time I think Vietnamese is my favorite, but don't hold me to that. The shrimp dumplings at Mosquito were delightful. Robust flavor and good construction do a good dumpling make! The beef Pho is also another treasure. A complex broth with tender beef served with a plate of Pho fixins: cilantro, basil, bean sprouts and a few scary slices of chili peppers.

There were a few other restaurant visits on this trip, but it is easy to say this was the most memorable. 

Upon my return one of my friends asked if I took pictures of anything else besides food. I did but, I didn't post them on Face Book. Which leads to an interesting question: If you don't post a picture on Face Book did it really happen?

Two weeks of mostly eating

I am back after two exciting weeks of mostly eating in the States.  It was actually a little over two weeks but, I am the only one counting. They were exciting weeks because Christmas eve, Christmas Day, a trip to Vegas, my birthday, New Year's Eve and New Year's day were included in the trip.

This was my first Christmas at home with family since I moved to Vicenza in 2010. It was the longest time I spent in the States since then. Not much has changed. What has changed is my awareness of the diversity of the people, places and things to do. I could go on here for hundreds of words detailing my first visit to Italy in 1993 as part of my college's undergraduate program, and how that semester abroad radically changed the course of my life, but I won't. I will say that I have been fascinated with Italy and Italians for as long as I can remember. At times the intensity recedes about the country and it's people, but it always returns.

All that being said, living here can be a hassle for a few key reasons that were highlighted after a brief jaunt to my NYC hometown. First things first: food.

As we drove past Red Lobster I stared longingly out the window, and said, "Wow, Red Lobster! Sure wish I could go there..." My dad chuckled,"If you want we can stop at Red Lobster for dinner?" My response: " I wish! It's 5:30 pm. No restaurants are open at this hour." My dad looked at me as if I had gone mad. Of course it was open and crowded. There was a 15 minute wait to be seated. Eating at restaurant anytime, day or night, that you want. One of the many things American city dwellers take for granted. In Italy most restaurants and shops close from 2 pm to 4 pm for reposo. Gives them enough time to eat and take a nap in the middle of the day. I forgot Americans do not indulge in the ubiquitous Italian practice.

Another change I noticed at home was how nice everyone is. New Yorkers are infamously rude and mean. I think we earned this back in the bad old days of the 1970s and 1980s when New York was sort of a scary place. Things began to change in the 1990s and the people of my hometown have grown to be much nicer. For the most part strangers were super nice and curious about me. The curious part was a little of a surprise. Everyone assumed I was from somewhere else.

Perhaps it was my wide-eyed expression when I walked into the new Joe Fresh store on on Fifth Ave. Or my confusion about when I would receive the $5 coupon I would earn if I signed up for a Duane Reade card. Upon bumping into my former boss from Deutsche Bank outside of Lord & Taylor she hugged me and remarked that I looked very foreign. The irony of her comment is that I was not wearing the fancy little Italian coat I bought in Vicenza. Instead I was wearing an old coat I bought at Macy's years ago but, it had a hood and it was freezing in New York so  I wore it.

The trip to Vegas was much tamer than in the past, but much more rewarding visiting with Ryan, a Vegas virgin who fell in love with the place with the same intensity I did my first.

A real live Military Ball

And there you have it, the official picture from our very first military ball. It was a huge affair with over 300 guests. All of the Soldiers were in their Army Service Uniforms. It ran a little short on pomp and circumstance, but it did include a speech from General Hamm, the four-star General and a presentation of the colors.

With the dress saga behind me I was able to enjoy a fun night and experience Army formal social culture. I think I saw my first lesbian couple out at a formal event. One dressed in uniform and the other barely dressed in a very revealing sequined cutout gown. I know this comment is worthless without a picture but, it was impossible to take a picture without them noticing.

I was waiting for the bathroom when they came in after me. I stepped outside to wait with them to get the story when they asked me to take their picture. Stunned I said sure. They snuggled up close for the picture, then the Soldier spanked the bombshell on the butt. Then another female Solider walked over and she introduced the bombshell as her SISTER. My mouth fell open. Her sister? I have never seen anyone behave that way with their sister before in my life. I left the line because the statement relieved my need to use the restroom. Her sister? Really?

DADT is dead but, I have not seen any same sex couples or met any out lesbians or gay boys in uniform to date. I keep hoping though. Keep hope alive!

After a few courses of food and mingling with the friends I had my fill of the event. We slipped out before the dance floor opened.  Ryan had a few drinks and I was the DD for the evening. It was a cold, rainy night, and I continue to broaden my driving experience. The winding roads on the way home induced outright panic, but having Ryan next to gave me the confidence to take a few sharp turns and bang a few Uies that I would normally avoid.

The dress I wore is by no means a fashion favorite, but it was the best I could do on short notice through the mail. The other female attendees ran the gamut from sweater dresses to full sequined gowns with fascinators. Would I have done anything differently? No. Would I go again? Probably not.

The highlight of the evening was running into my boss and his wife. My boss made an astute observation. He said that he and his wife are the mirror image of Ryan and I. My boss is the extrovert while his wife is the introvert. I am the extrovert while Ryan is the introvert. It was a funny thing say especially because it is true.

Email repost on the goings on

I have not posted in awhile because there has been a lot happening.  A dear friend firmly requested an update. It's easier to just post my note to him than to craft a new post. Enjoy!

Hi J_____!

To be perfectlyhonest I saw your message on Thanksgiving afternoon. I read halfway throughit and began to feel very emotional. So I stopped reading and went on withmy plans to see the final installment of the Twilight Saga. Our dear friendKStew was surprisingly good. I wouldn't call her performance memorable, butI left satisfied. It certainly was not the fiasco Snow White and theHuntsman was. Remember when we went to see that together in the summer? I miss those times with you. Your friendship was and continues to be very important to me.

The job is fantastically rewarding. I am having a great time. I teamed upwith a former colleague for a new initiative we are calling F2F. See article here.It was a great event, and the boss loves it. Also I a m going to my first real live ball tomorrow. I have never been to a military ball before so you canimagine the excitement. In the civilian world I have been to lots of galasand award ceremonies but, I am looking forward to the pomp and circumstanceof an official Army ball. The hunt for an appropriately glamorous ensemblewas laborious. I ordered copy of an Angelina Jolie dress from China, butthen worried it wouldn't get here in time I ordered a backup dress fromMacy's just in case. The dress from China was a very poor imitation ofAngelina's dress, but the backup Macy's dress needed a shawl. Anotherintense pursuit of said shawl ensued. I finally found a shawl last night.

Also on my agenda is my trip home. My mother wanted to have a huge catered affair in New York to celebrate. As the price tag and political drama of who NOT to invite raged, I bowed out and announced that Ryan and I would be in Vegas for my birthday. There was some gnashing teeth and tsk, tsk, tsking, but the party planners all managed to get over themselves. There is still so much more to tell you, but I have to get back to work now.I miss you, and think of you often. I had a few moments this week when I thought what would Jerry do. To be truthful I alternated between you and Beyonce. From my foxhole (Army word I learned this week) you both make very good decisions :o)

Mickie

Male-female relationships only

I am not ashamed to admit my vanity. One of my concerns about moving back to Italy two years ago was my hair. In New York I went to a Dominican salon for a sleek blowout weekly. I kept very few hair products on hand at home. I let my stylist take care of things for me. I would not say I panicked about coming back, but I was worried.  When I lived in Rome in the late 90s I wore my hair natural and was able to care for my hair easily. Now I have a relaxer and my hair requires special treatment.

Last year I stumbled across the Long Hair Care Forum. It changed my life. A plethora of information about hair care to include techniques and multiple product reviews specifically for chemically treated African-American hair. I spent hours on the site learning how to take care of my hair. There are challenges to increase your water intake and vitamins that promote hair growth. The information on the site became invaluable to me.

The site is free for basic information but, if you want to start you own thread or ask questions in a thread you have to become a member. Annual membership costs $6.50. Not bad at all, especially when I had lots of questions and was eager to join the discussion. LHCF has a nail section, a political section, a travel section, a Christian fellowship section and a relationship section.

I was only concerned about the hair discussions and did not venture into the other areas. Slowly though I began to spend time in the celebrity gossip threads. Funny stuff in there. Many of the discussions kept me in the pop culture loop and introduced me to new shows on television. One day out of boredom I scrolled down to the Relationship section that includes sub threads for newlyweds and noticed in parentheses the phrase: Male-female relationships only. Appalled I showed it to Ryan who said well this site does have a section for Christian fellowship. It is to be expected, his eyes said.

A few months went by and Cynthia Nixon publicly stated that homosexuality is a choice for her. This was a popular discussion on the board. The discussion was sometimes uninformed but, not homophobic. When I mentioned my attendance at the Human Rights Campaign gala few years ago, I received a few ambiguous comments, but I let them slide.

The election sparked lots of energetic dialogue, and my eye was drawn to the Male-female relationships only phrase again. There is a section where you can ask the site moderators questions. Usually members ask technical questions about how to post large pictures or change their signature. On Friday I asked why there is a restriction on same-sex relationship discussions. A moderator quickly responded that the site owner is a Christian and the site reflects elements of Christianity. My question sparked some dialogue. One member told me I should be prepared to be banned. Others said the good far outweighed the bad so they stay members even though they find the restriction offensive. The moderator told me the rule would not ever change. She cited that it would be impossible to protect same-sex discussions from harassment on the site.

And there you have it. The restriction exists to protect women in same-sex relationships from harassment from the other members. This sounds so familiar to me. I think I heard this reasoning once to justify segregation of schools in the Jim Crow south.

There's goes my obsession with LHCF. We had a nice run, but your beliefs are wrong.

I'm not one of those people

I'm not one of those people who loves fall. You know the type that barely makes it through summer and craves the crisp air that rolls in around September. I am not that type. Yet, this year I do feel different about Fall. The sinking dread I once felt has been replaced with something else. Not excitement, but perhaps expectancy.

It began in the shoe window on Corso Palladio, the main artery of Vicenza. I saw a stunning pair of those high heeled sneakers I first saw at the Deutsche Bank-sponsored exhibit at the Guggenheim a few years ago. The artist Julie Mehretu was wearing a pair. I loved her sneakers but, I am not one of those people who wears sneakers when I am not running. The pair I saw on Corso Palladio caught my attention. Maybe I am one of those people who wears sneakers when they are not running.

Eventually I found a pair that work more like an ankle boot than a sneaker. See pic below. I bought them at a shoe store near my apartment. The older saleslady suggested a bag to go with my new sneakers. The bag was adorable. It was dark blue leather with black skulls printed on it. The straps were chain links and the satin bow was tied at the corner. To be honest I spotted the bag when I walked in. I contemplated buying said bag, but I could not buy it. That bag represented an old me, a now outdated "punkish" bad-girl look I used to sport. That bag represented Mickie c. 2006. I was very into skulls in 2006. A trip to Mexico with all of the beautiful Day of Dead motifs became an obsession. Fortunately this 2012 and the skulls looked dated. I liked the bag but, my personal style is about moving forward. There are a few other looks of the moment that catch my eye, many of them I have done before. For example corduroy, I love corduroy pants, but there are colors I just cannot wear anymore, namely plum and winter white. I wore them all the time last time I was into cords. They looked boring to me even though they are of the moment.

It is easy to get locked into an idea of yourself and wear the same things every year. For some people that is personal style. They know what works for them and they stick to it.

The first day I wore my high heeled sneakers one of the girls at lunch said, "Wow! I could never wear those, but you can pull that off." I hear this kind thing a lot. I accepted the compliment (it is a compliment right?), but thought a lot about how we can get locked into an idea of ourselves. I have a dear friend who this summer went through something. It was about love or like or affection. That experience changed her and it is reflected in her personal style. Her style is different now because perhaps she feels different now?

Personal style is so much about how you feel and how you want to be seen. It is an area completely within our control. I used to love skulls and bows, now not so much.

There's no hugging at work

In my world there is no hugging at work unless that's the last time you will see that person, as in your last day. Even under those circumstances I wait until outside of the office. The Administrator at my my new office sees things differently.

She sort marched in my office this morning to find me enjoying my bagel and peanut butter breakfast treat to hand me my new Blackberry. Some office drama ensued. She's has worked for the Army for almost 20 years; many of those years in the same office. I don't blame her for being a little high strung. From what I can tell she did not expect me to tell her she was being unprofessional. I told her she is allowed to vent, but she isn't allowed to take that frustration out on me. Ever. I signed for my hardware, and she left. I went back to enjoying my delicious morning treat thinking nothing more about her eccentric behavior.

Later that afternoon as I was leaving the restroom, she approached me in the doorway. Startled, I said, "Oh!" and then, "Excuse me." She wouldn't let me by though. Then she said, "I think I need a hug."

Me: Oh well that is not at all necessary. I don't hug colleagues so you don't have to...

Her: Yes, I need a hug to know that we are ok and you are not mad at me.

I tried to reverse back into the bathroom, but then she lunged at me and threw her arms around my upper body, effectively trapping my arms to my sides, and squeezed. The whole thing happened so fast. I was still protesting when it was over.