Male-female relationships only

I am not ashamed to admit my vanity. One of my concerns about moving back to Italy two years ago was my hair. In New York I went to a Dominican salon for a sleek blowout weekly. I kept very few hair products on hand at home. I let my stylist take care of things for me. I would not say I panicked about coming back, but I was worried.  When I lived in Rome in the late 90s I wore my hair natural and was able to care for my hair easily. Now I have a relaxer and my hair requires special treatment.

Last year I stumbled across the Long Hair Care Forum. It changed my life. A plethora of information about hair care to include techniques and multiple product reviews specifically for chemically treated African-American hair. I spent hours on the site learning how to take care of my hair. There are challenges to increase your water intake and vitamins that promote hair growth. The information on the site became invaluable to me.

The site is free for basic information but, if you want to start you own thread or ask questions in a thread you have to become a member. Annual membership costs $6.50. Not bad at all, especially when I had lots of questions and was eager to join the discussion. LHCF has a nail section, a political section, a travel section, a Christian fellowship section and a relationship section.

I was only concerned about the hair discussions and did not venture into the other areas. Slowly though I began to spend time in the celebrity gossip threads. Funny stuff in there. Many of the discussions kept me in the pop culture loop and introduced me to new shows on television. One day out of boredom I scrolled down to the Relationship section that includes sub threads for newlyweds and noticed in parentheses the phrase: Male-female relationships only. Appalled I showed it to Ryan who said well this site does have a section for Christian fellowship. It is to be expected, his eyes said.

A few months went by and Cynthia Nixon publicly stated that homosexuality is a choice for her. This was a popular discussion on the board. The discussion was sometimes uninformed but, not homophobic. When I mentioned my attendance at the Human Rights Campaign gala few years ago, I received a few ambiguous comments, but I let them slide.

The election sparked lots of energetic dialogue, and my eye was drawn to the Male-female relationships only phrase again. There is a section where you can ask the site moderators questions. Usually members ask technical questions about how to post large pictures or change their signature. On Friday I asked why there is a restriction on same-sex relationship discussions. A moderator quickly responded that the site owner is a Christian and the site reflects elements of Christianity. My question sparked some dialogue. One member told me I should be prepared to be banned. Others said the good far outweighed the bad so they stay members even though they find the restriction offensive. The moderator told me the rule would not ever change. She cited that it would be impossible to protect same-sex discussions from harassment on the site.

And there you have it. The restriction exists to protect women in same-sex relationships from harassment from the other members. This sounds so familiar to me. I think I heard this reasoning once to justify segregation of schools in the Jim Crow south.

There's goes my obsession with LHCF. We had a nice run, but your beliefs are wrong.