Monday, July 11, 2011

Steam so thick I could barely breathe

I lead an international multicultural life. I live in Italy and work on an American Military base. Want more proof? Fine. Here's your proof. The girl who does Ryan's Italian, German, Swedish, Irish toes is Serbian. Sandra, the Serbian also does my toes, fingers and bikini. Last week while getting my toes done, she told me, in Italian, that she still didn't know how to operate the Turkish bath. She wrinkled her nose and winked at me when she said it. Wide eyed I leaned over and whispered,"What's a Turkish bath?" I have heard of Turkish bathhouses and the like but, this was not that kind of place. She described a fantasy worthy steam room that left you feeling refreshed, showered even. "I want one.", I said before she finished describing it fully. "When can I get one?" She thought for a moment then asked if I wanted a massage after. Yes, why yes I did want a massage after my Turkish bath.

The date was set and I arrived ten minutes early to prepare for the experience. After a brief wait, Sandra asked me to follow her into a pleasant room with a stand up shower. It sort of looked like one of those futuristic space pods or a disabled person shower. There was just enough room for one person. Sandra told me she would knock on the glass when I had five minutes left. I slid the doors shut and steam rushed in at me. I began to think this might have been a waste of time and money as the steam was not much more then the clothes steamer my family sent me for Christmas. My mind drifted to the female soldier who called me Sergeant Mac today. What a laugh that was. I corrected her but, I think she thought I was just being informal when I told her to call me Mickie. That lady thinks I am a solider. What a hoot! That's when it happened. I opened my eyes and it was white hot everywhere. The little hearts I drew on the glass were gone. The steam was so thick I could barely breathe. I started to panic could I suffocate from steam? Would a die a steamy death? I took several deep breaths and calmed down, enjoying the hot clouds as they entered my lungs and freed my pores from gross toxins. I stood there naked sweating for a long, long time when Sandra gave me the five minute warning. How long had I been in here I wondered an hour, a few days? It was about ten minutes.

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