Never Saw that Coming

She called it Jagged Little Pill and it changed the lives of young women who were of dating age in 1995. She sung about our discontent with our friends, lovers past and present, and our parents. Alanis knew our hurts both big and small. She was and remains our hero even as she has transitioned to a new role as earth mother with a podcast focused on self improvement and deepening relationships with our intimate partners.

In 1995 I was a brand new college graduate trying to find my way in the world having no clue where I might end up in twenty years. Well here I am in 2016 married with kid in Italy. Last night I rediscovered Jagged Little Pill. I started singing and dancing while Hunter sung along in his own toddler language. Alanis was describing deep heartache that was all consuming. We hurt with her even when we did not quite understand it all. We were still a little ways off from that kind of love, but we knew those relationships were out there so we listened. She told us stories about her ex-boyfriend's new wife when none of us could even imagine being a wife. The hints at motherhood sailed over our heads as we sympathized with her pain after the breakup. This album doesn't tell us what's next. Does she stay angry? Do we?

She doesn't stay angry. She forgoves the guy and herself for picking the guy in the first place. She gets married and has a kid. And we did too. I never thought there would be such a day that I would sing Alanis lullabies to my two year old son, and he would watch me jump and down singing with his bottle of milk as my microphone. Never saw that coming. Childeren can heal a lot of the stuff that went wrong before they showed up. For proof listen to your breakup songs and feel how far you have come and how much you have grown.

Eventually Hunter got very tired. My dancing has that effect on people. It makes them tired just watch me. He looked at me adoringly and patted the pillow next to his head. His big brown eyes said Mama come lay next to me you are making me tired. Mission accomplished. My little guy was sound asleep within minutes.