They flinch when I say vagina

Who knew saying the word vagina would make people so uncomfortable. By people I mean male soldiers. Every Tuesday at 9:30 you can find me briefing 10 to 50 soldiers who are new to the installation about the importance of obtaining consent before sexual activity, and dispelling myths about sexual assault. I wish I could tell you these guys, and a few girls, are excited to hear what I have to say. I can't though, because they are not. They have heard this information countless times before. At least one of them doses off while I am talking. I have sought to make the 45 minutes they spend with me more interesting for them and for me.

They snicker and complain when I emphasize the importance of consent. "Do I need girls to sign a contract before I sleep with them?", one soldier asked. His battle buddies high-fived him in approval. Their outrageous responses to sexual violence often challenge my authority and control of the room. Some of them mistakenly take my femaleness as shyness. Luckily for me I am not easily embarrassed, but to their surprise they are.

Last week I had a large class. There were about 45 soldiers, of these about four of them were women. The female soldiers tend to be very quiet during my briefs. I think the topic of sexual assault is to close to home for most. I got to the part of my presentation where I tell them there were 4 male-on-male sexual assaults on this installation last year. This week that fact got their attention. Many of them stared at me bewildered. "But how?", they said to me silently with their eyes wide. The female soldiers making eye contact with me for the first time. The sleepy fellow in the front row straightening himself out of his slumped over position.

I had their attention, and I intended to keep it. That's when I said it,"You don't have to have a vagina to be raped." A few of them flinched at the word vagina. Many of them blinked at me in quick succession. The women cautiously looked around prepared for a sign of potential danger. I responded to the tension in the room with my personal brand of candor,"Oops, I said the 'v' word." I looked around, "Is everyone ok?" The women were smirking. A few of them smiled at me. Yeah, I definitely have their attention now.

And then there were four

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. In my role I am responsible for using this month to spearhead activities to raise awareness of this issue in the community. I have a number of initiatives happening, but none of them as controversial as the Public Serve Announcement on AFN is turning out to be.

For those of you unfamiliar with AFN, it's the Armed Forces Network. It is the military's TV station. They show the most popular shows from home. For example Dancing with the Stars, Glee, NCIS, Grey's Anatomy, Oprah and Dr. Phil are on heavy rotation. Instead of commercials for detergent, cars or cell phones I see information relevant to Soldiers, Airmen, Seamen and Marines. PSAs on how to deal with PTSD, Stop-loss pay, suicide prevention and messages from the field.

I was given the green light to produce a PSA to address sexual assault in Army. Sexual assault is no less important than PTSD. That's where the post High School students come in. I thought it would be exciting to work them. Most of these kids have lived all over the world. I am interested in their perspective.

Not as many as I thought jumped at the opportunity to be on AFN. My core group is four young men. That was a surprise. I expected more girls would be interested, but the subject matter may have intimidated them.

I assembled my group and tasked them with coming up with a solid idea to present to the Chief of AFN at our installation. Our meeting was yesterday. My group of young men have chosen to write and act in a skit about a male-on-male sexual assault. I don't know if this community is ready for this but, so far all the powers that be (full bird colonels and the like) are impressed with these young men as well as their idea. I wait with baited breath for the script. It's due on Monday.