Cook for 50 men. Screw 55

Many years ago by accident I encountered the book The Color Purple. I watched the movie on HBO as a very young adolescent. It was Christmas and the adults were playing cards. I snuck off to watch HBO hoping to catch a glimpse of something sexually explicit. Instead it was the middle of the movie version of The Color Purple. I watched absentmindedly. Clearly this movie was for adults, but not in the dirty way I was hoping for if I am being perfectly honest. My dad barged in sensing I was up to something I should not be doing. To my surprise he was well acquainted with the movie. He pronounced the movie a travesty and walked out. I found his observation curious. The movie seemed ok, from what I could understand.

Many years later I stumbled upon the book. I had not interest in it because by this time I had seen the film in its entirety and was fairly certain the book had little more to offer. I was living in Rome for the second time. The receptionist at my mother's job was just a few years older than me and we had become friends. She came to visit and brought her a dogeared, underlined copy. She asked if I had read it. I shrugged it off, but she insisted I should read it. She left the book behind after her visit. My cousin's name was written inside. I am not very close to that cousin and felt awkward about reading her book. After the first few chapters I could not put it down. I felt as if a secret passageway had opened in my head. Suddenly I had deeper access to the human experience. I understood love, God and womanhood as never before.

I had just fallen in love for the first time and had my heart broken. Badly. It was a difficult time. The Color Purple and the Tragic Kingdom CD got me through it. A few more years went by and Alice Walker published a novel about how the book became a movie, and the controversy surrounding the film. In certain African American male circles it was seen as anti-male. In other circles it was viewed as anti-woman. It was the eighties. Race and gender were different then perhaps. For me it was an enrichment of  what had become more than a book to me. It had become a map for how to find my way, my happiness.

Fast forward twenty years. The concept of The Color Purple has been knocking around in my head. For no specific reason I downloaded The Color Purple audiobook read by the author: Alice Walker. Listening to the author read a novel is in itself a special gift. The author's voice will tell you the things you need to know. It will answer the questions in your heart. I didn't know I still had questions, but I did and heard the answers. I am set to begin my fourth listening. I hear something new every time.

My mother is here with me while Ryan is off keeping our country safe. I started talking to her about the experience in a dreamlike state. I even coincidentally found it on my bookshelf this morning. We spoke about how my cousin's book came into my possession. She made the notations and underlines many years ago in her first and only reading of the novel. She opened it to a passage she had underlined: "She ran a roadhouse. Cook for fifty men. Screw fifty-five." I say it out loud and laugh. I tease her. I say, "Ha! You like that part the best huh?" She said no she didn't like it at all. I laugh some more. Push her to explain why she would underline something she didn't like. Finally she said she liked the sentence, but disapproved of it as a way to live. I say it is one of my favorite lines in the book. It is an audacious line. An absurdly bold thing to say to a parent, but I am grown. I say all sorts of bold things these days. This one got her good. She stared at me as if I suddenly transformed into Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight Sparkle