My Ongoing Relationship with Work

There are things I absolutely love about my job. Most of all is the sense of purpose and the paycheck it provides. I am having a hard time giving up both, even temporarily. My due date is next Saturday. Most people are surprised to know I am still working,  especially considering the time spent in "lockup." At the end of each OB visit, the Silver Fox, asks, "Are you still working outside the home?" When he asked a few months ago I replied with great pride, "Yes, I work outside the home!" This is probably a good time to describe the typical military lifestyle.

Most American women living in Vicenza are associated with the military base. The majority of them are married to active duty soldiers. Because the Army provides for their basic needs such as housing and utilities, most of them choose not to work. Their age, the average age is 23, lack of work experience and inability to work off the military installation enforce their decision not to seek employment. All this to say most of the American women, even the ones who do not necessarily meet the aforementioned demographic do not work. In this respect I am a bit of an anomaly that I proudly own.

In a recent discussion with my father he summed it succinctly, "I spent too much money on your education to have you waste it." I agree. Then there are those few friends and colleagues who regale me with their tales of working right up to the day they gave birth. The first time I heard a woman say that it sounded crazy, but the more I heard it the more I felt I could join the club, and later felt I should join the club. With just a little over a week left in my pregnancy most people including the Silver Fox are surprised, dismayed even to know I am still working.

The thing is I drive to work and sit at my desk for most of the day. I do not lift or operate heavy machinery. My biggest challenge is walking down the hall to the bathroom, and I have succeeded in getting there every single time. The problem is that some days work can be stressful, and most importantly I am very tired all of the time.

I finally resolved to begin my maternity leave next week, but felt so apprehensive about doing so that convinced myself to come in on Tuesday to wrap things up. I love my job! I don't want to stop working! But I am having my baby soon and I need to get physically as well as emotionally ready. A colleague who had her baby in June asked how my husband feels about me still working. I replied that he is completely aware of who he married. He trusts my judgement to decide when  it is appropriate for me to stop working. He respects and possibly loves my fierce independence. He is not interested in curbing or impeding that. All that being said, next week will be my last week at work until after the baby is here. Yes, I am going back to work after the baby. It is good for the baby to have two working parents. Not only for the financial security, but also to build his own work ethic.