The 2019 Round Up

Turkey legs are a thing at Magic Kingdom

Although we are securely in 2020 I feel a 2019 roundup is necessary because it was such an amazing year. I found my footing in Savannah, both professionally and personally. To be sure there were challenges, but the rewards were better than I could have imagined, and I am grateful for all in equal measure. 

The highlights of the year were easily the Xena Retreat and the new job. To have one of those happen in the year would have been amazing. Instead I had the opportunity to spend three days immersed in my favorite television show and meet other women more obsessed than I am with Xena. Then when the timing was just right an amazing job opportunity plucked me out of obscurity. And just like that I was back in the corporate game. It is not the most exciting job, but it is in my field, near the house and I have enough flexibility to have lunch with Hunter once a week.  

We had dear friends from Italy spend the holidays with us. We took a quick trip to Orlando and spent a few fun filled days at Disney and Cape Canaveral. It was exhilarating to have a piece of my Italian life here with me in Savannah. 

I also chose to work with a life and business coach this year. I met Samantha almost immediately after my arrival in Savannah via Meetup. All the chaos you have likely heard about in the news is true, but the folks holding down the the fort at WeWork and are keeping the Meetup.com social networking platform alive, but I digress. I attended a few of Samantha's events and we soon became friends. She introduced me to a few other women online and a few others in Savannah as well. I watched the people she surrounded herself with grow, change and become more. Of what you may ask? More of who they are. 

It began to dawn on me that I had an unmooring after Italy. Seven years away from friends and family can do that to girl from time-to-time. With new adjectives and roles in my life I often felt adrift. I am American but, there are still a great many cultural obsessions that I missed out on and often don't relate to here. Memes, gifs., and a few Microsoft word shortcuts to name a few.

Let's welcome Samantha to the performance area that is my life. Although we are friends I wanted to change that relationship into something of a more professional nature. I had never done anything like that before. Your therapist can never be your friend. Same as professors, well perhaps professors can become your friend. That is a story for another day. Today we are discussing my decision to hire my friend as a business and life coach. 

When I approached Samantha with the idea she was surprised. She knew I had a business  idea I was trying to get off the ground. I had attended a few online workshops with her for that, but then I realized I needed to do some inner work to fix a vibrational issue. I knew she could help with that too. I was very clear with her: I want to vibrate higher and I think you can help me do that.  

We agreed to 12 sessions over the course of seven of the best months of my life. All of our sessions were online and recorded so that I could view them later if I needed (I have not needed.) She gave me books to read, The Four Agreements. Videos to watch, The Circle of Influence. There was even homework.

I was racing to work after dropping my son off at school one morning. A police officer stopped me for going 62 mph in a 55 mph zone. He let me off with a warning but, the traffic stop scared me half to death. Traffic stops gone wrong are allover the news and social media. Samantha helped me to pull apart all the fear and anxiety around the traffic stop. In some of our sessions we tackled 9/11, but mostly importantly she helped me regain the inner confidence I lost after a bout with postpartum depression and the house fire in Italy. There is always more work to be done, but the work I put in last year has set me up for a terrific 2020. 

Welcome to the Terror Dome

Like many of you I have a few phobias. They are all well managed. I hate to fly, but love to travel. With meditation, prayer and glass of prosecco I do just fine on planes. Since the apartment fire in Vicenza I am a tad claustrophobic. I cannot tolerate small, windowless spaces for very long at all. High bridges over large bodies of water are another trigger to panic, but if I am prepared for them I do just fine. The problem today was I did not have a chance to prepare.

I had a meeting with the CEO of a nonprofit this afternoon. The headquarters are on the far side of town in a neighborhood I am not well acquainted with yet. He asked me to create a proposal for my dream project for the organization. I was excited because I spent the days leading up to the meeting studying their website and digital footprint. I left feeling inspired. The position could have a tremendous impact on the community. Before I headed to my car I called my friend who helped to schedule the meeting. We met briefly in her small, windowless office. My chest started to feel a bit tight, but nothing I could not relax through.

As I walked to my car I considered a small celebratory gesture. As in a decadent cocktail before happy hour, in the middle of the afternoon. The only problem was the reception in that part of town was sporadic. Too weak to find a the kind a trendy spot that could make my fancy cocktail. I had a general idea of how to get home. I decided against the celebration since the cell signal was so weak. I had a general idea of where I was and started driving in the direction of my house, but before my GPS could get a signal I found myself on the ramp for the Talmadge Memorial Bridge to South Carolina (SC).

Talmadge Memorial Bridge

Let's stop right here to look at the bridge. This is a scary view. (I did not take the picture. It came up when I googled Talmadge Bridge.) The steep incline limited my field of vision. The narrow lanes  were recently expanded due to the frequent collisions. On the other side is a steep decline that leads to a two lane road surrounded by marshland. Good grief was I scared. The name of the bridge is under scrutiny as the City of Savannah wrestles with its confederate past. Eugene Talmadge was famously elected to Governor of Georgia four times from 1933 to 1937, 1941 to 1943 and a fourth term in 1946. He died before his inauguration. He was a well known white supremacist. He actively promoted segregation and racism in the Georgia University system during his tenure. The Girl Scouts (and me) would love to have it re-named for their founder and Savannah native Juliette Gordon Low. 

That is probably enough history for today. Back to my detour. I was not happy about my impromptu bridge crossing and less happy to have crossed state lines into SC. I have nothing against SC. It is a beautiful state. Charleston is gorgeous and Beaufort is a delight. I just did not want to be there today. I was on one of those roads that will not let you make a U-turn for miles. It was such a pain, but the worst part was I had to cross the bridge to get home. I would have done almost anything not to cross that bridge again. 

When I finally made it back on the bridge in the right direction, I stayed as far left as possible and went as fast as I possibly could. Which was about 45mph because my deepest fear is that I will loose control of the vehicle and end up plunging over the side of the bridge. Geez, I watch too much TV. I made it back just in time to have a margarita with my neighbor before her kid came home. I left when her bestfriend called. She has lupus and just had her hip replaced. It was grounding reminder that even when faced with deep seated phobias, things could be much more challenging. I have so much to be grateful for everyday. Even when I end up across state lines life is very good. 

Ribbons, ladies and the dress

I have established that I am not working..yet. And that has been a major professional challenge for me this year. Family (and not one friend) has asked me how I spend my days. That is because my friends know about the daily challenges I faced in a new city operating as a single parent. There is not much time left over after caring for Hunter, job hunting and staying gorgeous. It takes time and effort to look good even when you do not necessarily have some place to go. Especially in this town where people are very laid back. I refuse to disparage the good folks of my town, but I will say there are a few Wal-Marts here, maybe several.

Once I found a great daycare program for Hunter, got rid of the armadillo and completed a few urgent repairs to the house some time freed up. Then Ryan came back and he needed quite a bit of care and feeding. I mean that literally. He lost almost fifty pounds in the few months he was gone. He sort of stumbled around the house the first few days trying to get reacquainted with everything to include Hunter and me. I got him sorted out, and on the first day he went back to work I exhaled deeply. It was time to get to work on me.

I took the best advice ever from one of my dearest friends  and joined Toastmasters. I won four ribbons! I hosted a welcome home party for Ryan once he was ready for outside company. I attend a few coffee and lunch networking meetings a week. I read to Hunter's class a few times a month. I also joined a meetup called Heart Centered Women. It is a group of creative women who have a vision of their best life and are looking for the roadmap to get there. Samantha started the group this summer. Her story reads like a Lifetime movie, but with a Happily Ever After (HEA). Successful New York non-profit executive ditches her-pie-in- the-sky office and the salary that comes with it, and moves to Savannah, GA to start her life coaching business. You better believe she is living her HEA. I have participated in a few of her events and you can feel the passion radiating out of her.

Samantha's third from the left.We are at a wine tasting event

Last night she offered a "hot seat" career coaching call. It was amazing. Several of us were on the call speaking about being in transition in our careers. She focused in on our fears and a surprise to no one she told us that our fears were holding us all back. Samantha encouraged..encouraged is not even the word. Samantha guided me through my fear of making a phone call to someone that can help me find my own career HEA. I feel incredibly energized today. I joined the gym. I am looking good. My muscles are clearly poppin'. Today I worked out harder than I have in a long time. I came home to make the call I have been thinking about for months. Although the woman on the other end of the line could not see me, I made sure I looked good while we spoke. It absolutely helped to boost my confidence.

I get dressed for my networking calls

Not the Baby Shower Type

If and when I can I avoid baby showers like the plague. In general I used to find most events that involve pregnant women and babies boring, icky or some combination of both. Over the years I got over myself and grew up, but the baby shower aversion clung to me like a bad cold. My friends began the baby shower chatter a few months ago. The idea made me very uncomfortable. There were a few baby showers at various offices that I could not avoid in my past. They were strange events with cakes made of diapers, and silly games that left the mother-to-be resembling Little Bo Peep.  The guest of honor always ended up with paper plates on her head and streamers wrapped around her body. Once I watched in disbelief as the the guests made dress out of the wrapping paper and made the soon-to-be mom wear it! I wanted no part of that. I finally confessed my fears to a friend, and she gave me a bit of sound advice. She reminded me that the process of preparing for and the raising of a child is a community effort. She said it was an important "rite of passage" to let my community shower me with their support. She added that I would need many of them in the months ahead.

Her words stimulated me and I realized I could have a baby shower on my terms. I discussed my fears with the friends I trusted the most. They assured me that my shower would be a tasteful event. Once assured of their promises we set a date: 23 November. The next important decision was the location. With holidays almost upon us it would be difficult to find the appropriate venue. My apartment was the obvious choice. The other details were easily the best part: the menu. We selected all of my favorite dishes. Some were purchased at the Commissary and others were homemade, but all were delicious.

The games were fun and mostly for the guests. Although at some point I did start tying ribbons around myself...The best part was support of my friends. It was just as my friend said. The women in my community rallied around to support me. It was beautiful and heartwarming. We had a few guys over to keep Ryan company. They stayed in the kitchen where  Ryan was frying up batches of his delicious hot wings. By the end of it I did feel like I had crossed another threshold. One that brought me closer to motherhood.

Summer wedding Italian style

We are halfway through the summer already, and I only have one beach visit under my belt. It's been that kind of summer. Azzura and Nao's wedding is certainly the highlight thus far. Nao is one of Ryan's air soft buddies. The team and their wives/girlfriends are part of our surrogate family and the third pairing to get hitched in as many years.

Azzura and Nao are both from Soave and have known each other since grade school. They dated for seven years and got married last Saturday 20 July. The wedding was a very traditional Italian affair, which is quite different from an American wedding. For staters there was no wedding party. All of the guests waited outside the church for Azzura to arrive, and when she did arrive it was a very dramatic entrance. Her brother drove their father's cherry red Ferrari with it's feline purr of an engine up the narrow street where we all waited. Her fairytale princess dress billowed inside the car. She would later tell me how she and her brother struggled to get her and her dress stuffed completely into the Ferrari.

Finally the car came to a stop in front of the church and she emerged unruffled. Her father walked her from the car to Nao, who waited for her outside the church. Inside there was a standard mass replete with communion.

After the ceremony we headed deep into the hills for the reception at a well known local winery. Nao pointed out the different grape varietals and encouraged us to try the exquisite red wine made on the grounds. There was an endless array of appetizers. Soon the owner came by and asked in Italian how Nao came to have so many foreign friends. Ryan and I sat together with Arnell, his Soldier friend in uniform and the Japanese-German couple Azzura met at language school in Germany. Nao looked at all of us and said it's just the way it is.

Us in Soave

A real live Military Ball

And there you have it, the official picture from our very first military ball. It was a huge affair with over 300 guests. All of the Soldiers were in their Army Service Uniforms. It ran a little short on pomp and circumstance, but it did include a speech from General Hamm, the four-star General and a presentation of the colors.

With the dress saga behind me I was able to enjoy a fun night and experience Army formal social culture. I think I saw my first lesbian couple out at a formal event. One dressed in uniform and the other barely dressed in a very revealing sequined cutout gown. I know this comment is worthless without a picture but, it was impossible to take a picture without them noticing.

I was waiting for the bathroom when they came in after me. I stepped outside to wait with them to get the story when they asked me to take their picture. Stunned I said sure. They snuggled up close for the picture, then the Soldier spanked the bombshell on the butt. Then another female Solider walked over and she introduced the bombshell as her SISTER. My mouth fell open. Her sister? I have never seen anyone behave that way with their sister before in my life. I left the line because the statement relieved my need to use the restroom. Her sister? Really?

DADT is dead but, I have not seen any same sex couples or met any out lesbians or gay boys in uniform to date. I keep hoping though. Keep hope alive!

After a few courses of food and mingling with the friends I had my fill of the event. We slipped out before the dance floor opened.  Ryan had a few drinks and I was the DD for the evening. It was a cold, rainy night, and I continue to broaden my driving experience. The winding roads on the way home induced outright panic, but having Ryan next to gave me the confidence to take a few sharp turns and bang a few Uies that I would normally avoid.

The dress I wore is by no means a fashion favorite, but it was the best I could do on short notice through the mail. The other female attendees ran the gamut from sweater dresses to full sequined gowns with fascinators. Would I have done anything differently? No. Would I go again? Probably not.

The highlight of the evening was running into my boss and his wife. My boss made an astute observation. He said that he and his wife are the mirror image of Ryan and I. My boss is the extrovert while his wife is the introvert. I am the extrovert while Ryan is the introvert. It was a funny thing say especially because it is true.

Email repost on the goings on

I have not posted in awhile because there has been a lot happening.  A dear friend firmly requested an update. It's easier to just post my note to him than to craft a new post. Enjoy!

Hi J_____!

To be perfectlyhonest I saw your message on Thanksgiving afternoon. I read halfway throughit and began to feel very emotional. So I stopped reading and went on withmy plans to see the final installment of the Twilight Saga. Our dear friendKStew was surprisingly good. I wouldn't call her performance memorable, butI left satisfied. It certainly was not the fiasco Snow White and theHuntsman was. Remember when we went to see that together in the summer? I miss those times with you. Your friendship was and continues to be very important to me.

The job is fantastically rewarding. I am having a great time. I teamed upwith a former colleague for a new initiative we are calling F2F. See article here.It was a great event, and the boss loves it. Also I a m going to my first real live ball tomorrow. I have never been to a military ball before so you canimagine the excitement. In the civilian world I have been to lots of galasand award ceremonies but, I am looking forward to the pomp and circumstanceof an official Army ball. The hunt for an appropriately glamorous ensemblewas laborious. I ordered copy of an Angelina Jolie dress from China, butthen worried it wouldn't get here in time I ordered a backup dress fromMacy's just in case. The dress from China was a very poor imitation ofAngelina's dress, but the backup Macy's dress needed a shawl. Anotherintense pursuit of said shawl ensued. I finally found a shawl last night.

Also on my agenda is my trip home. My mother wanted to have a huge catered affair in New York to celebrate. As the price tag and political drama of who NOT to invite raged, I bowed out and announced that Ryan and I would be in Vegas for my birthday. There was some gnashing teeth and tsk, tsk, tsking, but the party planners all managed to get over themselves. There is still so much more to tell you, but I have to get back to work now.I miss you, and think of you often. I had a few moments this week when I thought what would Jerry do. To be truthful I alternated between you and Beyonce. From my foxhole (Army word I learned this week) you both make very good decisions :o)

Mickie

The great flood of 2010

My first entry on my blog. I know it’s long overdue, and since the HuffPo didn’t publish my posts I decided to regroup and start anew here. Although we are still recovering from our raging Halloween party, the follow up is already underway. With so much leftover wine and assorted liquors, including tequila and whiskey, throwing another party is the only way we can avert the inevitable guilt induced need to drink it all ourselves. I guess we could also open a bar but, that’s a little more complicated than throwing another party.

It’s been raining here for six days. Heavy clouds have loomed over Vicenza in a strict holding pattern since Thursday. Schools and businesses closed early yesterday and all day today. Many of the bridges and the main highway have all been flooded. I checked the weather forecast and it looks like rain for the next few days as well.

From my days in Rome I can tell you the Italians don’t do well with rain. A little rain can shut an Italian city down the way a snow storm can cause havoc in NYC. A lot of rain, the likes of which we have here now, is a near catastrophe. Somehow we’ll wade through all the water and make the best of it.